16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
