I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I feel like death gave me a hand job
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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