dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
