yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Someone signed my nipple.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
