it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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