I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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