1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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