Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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