yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Randomize
