We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Randomize
