there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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