I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
