Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Randomize
