I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
