if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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