I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
