either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
