The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
