you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
