I seem to have left my pride at pride
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
