I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
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Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
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Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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