There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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