9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
