I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
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