Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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