I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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