Whatcha textin bout Willis?
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Randomize
