I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
