I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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