3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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