i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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