wat bout pragnant strippers??
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
