he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
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