Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Randomize