did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
