Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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