he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I'm passing your future prison.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
