You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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