why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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