He kissed a someone with a penis
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Randomize
