I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
