like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize
