The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
