you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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