im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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