True but thats because hes a fetus.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
