why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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