I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Holy sore nipples Batman
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Randomize