Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
