Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
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