i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
