I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
