you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I puked a lego.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Randomize
