this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
