the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I take back everything I said about communal showers
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
