Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
